Emo girl =.=

Truthfully i wonder how you are now. I wonder if you're happy, but what the heck of course you must be happy, of course she makes you happy. I saw her, by the way. I was just talking about you both and then i saw her. We smiled.

You know how awkward it was? but.
I hate you.
But still, i want to say something. i just don't want it to be like that. The reasons why you got angry like that, i don't know, maybe you're right. I am a selfish bitch. You can call me that if you want.

I want to have a fight with you so that i can hate you. Because if we remain unspoken, nothing will be done, i'll still wonder why you got so angry, and you'll continue feeling that you're right when you're wrong. No, wait. I am always wrong. You're right.

It may seem like that. You never hear me out.

Today wasn't such a good day, but it was still bearable. Mommy's laptop's internet connection didn't work. Now i don't have so much time cause i am using her work thingy laptop.

My family (Geni Family) are worried about me since i am getting sick these few days, and i got to say that i am. But it's no surprise for me, i am always sick. I am always like this. I don't know if i really need to worry about anything.

Some people asked me, if i am more active in Myspace or in my blog. I said "Neither" and it's true. I am more active in SSF. cause, i can pretend there. I can be someone else. I can be what i want to be. Because i am fake. Every little piece of me. Lifeless, dull... But yeah, honestly i have to say i am pretty DULL and LIFELESS whenever i am writing in my blog.

I am not always like this, so this is pretty rare. At school i am the 'hyper' type, i can smile and laugh like nothing is wrong. When i am with my family, i have to do everything the right way, even if i try, i don't think i can be all smiley and crazy, unless my cousins and aunties and uncles are with me, because they're smiley and crazy too.

When i am alone, i can be both. I am overly dramatic (especially when i am in front of the mirror), and i act as though i am what i want to be. When i am alone, i think properly if i should do it my way, or whatever my parents say. I chose to do whatever my parents say.

It's not easy to be me. It's not easy to pretend as if you're happy and healthy all the time. It's not easy.
Friday Friday, July 24, 2009 back to top?

Always with you.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down



i PROMISE to post up the pictures soon, i need to wait for soome people to actually upload it on facebook. grr.
Wednesday Wednesday, July 22, 2009 back to top?

Sims plus internet equals to late nght sleep

An so yay! i am finally back from the TIRING wedding, and it seems as if today was a very long day indeed.

First thing in the morning we went to the hall for preperations an rehearsals which was boring+fun = tiring!Daniel and Dania ha been keeping me company that time. then i got to rest, *phewh* for about a few hours till we had to get ready for the wedding.

It was really really fun~ i had so much fun i laughed till i cry. Anyway, yeah Agong was there, so was the permaisuri. I'll post up the pictures soon enough. We took so many dorky pictures!! xD

Then they had planned to take the cousins to Perth and sail (like pirates of the carribean), so we had to sail it ourselves with a few australian crew of course. :) i am so excited, even though it's not really planned out yet.

We went to concored or whatever which was super dper fun! and i also got a "patchi" chocolate, the Queen's favourite and i must tell you this, it's super expensive.
Sunday Sunday, July 19, 2009 back to top?

-



They said i had too much sugar, but they're definitely wrong. I mean, i don't like sweet foods, honey. BTW, i love the picture up there, SO WOW.

- i'll update later to squeeze the brain juice and think of an idea to write. Or maybe an excuse for not writing. :)

Wan quote -
We borrowed their love, just for fun, and to see them cry while we dance like monkeys and grin like kambing.
Friday Friday, July 17, 2009 back to top?

First chapter of my book - An ending of the end.




Okay, so i've been quite busy writing my story till i can't find any new ideas to post up my blog. And so, because Yue Qin and Ann reminded me, and i promised them to post a new blog, i decided to do so! I edited my new skin since it was getting a little toooooo complicated! muaha!

So i wanna post up cute pictures i found from my sister's computer. seriously damn cute. Any more updates other than the pictures? not really. But yeah, my book is going on perfectly well, i've reached the third chapter already!

-School was awesome the other day, i had a blast. sorta. Well, actually cause something happened *grins* but nothing that would get you interested anyway ;)

I promise to post more from now on!
Friday, July 17, 2009 back to top?